Laura Loving Life

The kids and I had an awesome evening yesterday. Bryan is out of town this week for work, so our family is definitely out of balance. But we manage, and yesterday we thrived!

I had one of those really long days at work--the kind that leaves my eyes hot and burning and tired, and my nerves frayed. Upon arriving home, Tayan and I decided to hit the basketball hoop right away. It was awesome. I love not only that I am one of the very few moms who will legitimately play basketball with their 8 year old, but that Tayan is aware of that rarity and doesn't mind it. It means so much to me that memories of his childhood will include playing ball, running with, and laughing at fart jokes with his mother.

After hoops, I rousted Zene off the couch, and the three of us took Lupin to the dog park. Lupin was so happy. I mean, like seriously so happy. Anybody who has an old dog who no longer chews up furniture and meekly stays inside for 9 hours a day by himself, then is content to pretty much sleep all evening and night knows what I mean. The dog was downright thankful.

Zene whined pretty much the whole time we were there, but he does that. The kid doesn't like exercise or outside very much.

Back at home, I made dinner while the kids chilled. Also, the highlight of my evening: I read Tayan's report card, which is a narrative and a list of skills for many of which he earned a "Distinguished" mark. The narrative was just amazing. His teacher is so proud of him, and she wrote an extensive essay of his progress in each area, how he leads his group and is very kind and always does his work and takes constructive criticism while striving for perfection... I read much of it to Tayan, and by the end I had a hard time keeping my voice steady. He laughed and asked if I was crying (which he could totally tell I was), and I vehemently denied.

We had dinner, learned how to sign in to their math website so they can both get better at earning "skills," then got ready for bed. It was a red-letter evening.

And this morning I did 30 burpees, some regular and sideways crunches, plank, and Zene taught me to do the Too dee tah, which is ridiculous.

There's no way to get around it: I've been absent. Absent from here, from any comments on the blogs I love to read, absent even from reading those blogs, even absent from Twitterings. I haven't been able to be found in any local gyms, nor running on the streets around my home, nor even in my basement workout room. I've been absent from all the old places where I used to spend time on myself.

Where have I been?

For awhile I was in only one place: work. I've never had a job like this before. I've never learned this much about anything in such a short time (except maybe when I was a toddler learning to talk/walk/etc). For awhile it was like I was on a rocky precipice with no ropes, no training, and barely any muscles, just hanging on and somehow managing to move upward. The difference between then and now is my attitude. In my mountain analogy, I guess I have managed to beg God to tilt the cliff just a little so that I can lay down once in awhile and rest. It's still there; I'm still moving; I'm just not letting it try to kill me anymore.

Since I've made this change, I have been working on my mind to get it healthy again. I've been reading books that have helped, have consulted sisters, mom, friends and husband, and I now feel that I'm on the right track. I used to only have issues with my body, and the issues with my mind were closely related to my body... but this was a different kind of thing altogether. I was scared of this new kind of problem, but I've got a hold of it now.

I feel like I am now back in a place where I can get my mind and body both happy by adding back exercise and focusing on what I eat. I'm continuing with the book regimen, the talking with those close to me, and planning to develop a routine of meditation.

Anyway, I went running this morning. It was hard to get up, but I did it, and I ran/walked for 24 minutes. Made up a good playlist for myself, laid my clothes out ahead of time, and even though it was 20-some degrees this morning, I went out. It was great. I feel great. I need to remember this feeling next time I don't feel like getting up to run.

I don't have anything specific that I want to say today, but I was finally reading a few entries on my stand-by favorite blog (Roni's Weigh), and I felt like writing. The coffee is helping... have I ever mentioned that coffee gets me positively high? Well, it does.

I'm sitting here in my office. Next to my huge window. Overlooking (a parking lot, and) Chuck Yeager Bridge in Charleston, WV. It's cloudy this morning, and the sun is shooting out from between some clouds with smoky beams of light heading down over the mountain. It's quiet because not everybody is here yet... I already have an email request waiting for me, but I've chosen to ignore it for these few minutes.

I think the bottom line here is that I am very happy to be gainfully employed, after a very trying year of not being sure what would be next for me and the rest of the Cooper Family. In addition, I also really like my job, and I love that my office has this window. Not everybody gets one, but I have one. Some people have one but keep the blinds shut all day. I think that's a waste. Even though the weather outside is affecting my comfort sitting here right next to the window, I'm going to tough it out, and eventually one day I'll be looking out at snow falling on the parking lot. I don't know if I'll get anything done that day.

I've liked this job since the day it started, at least after I realized that my supervisor really was a nice guy, and that the lady I would be working with didn't hate me (ladies tend to hate me). I came into the job in a very busy time, so busy in fact that my group was "sequestered" in another part of the building, working out of a conference room, allowed very little interruption. We have since moved back to our offices, but that time in the conference room getting to know everyone, sharing breakfasts, snacks, jokes, and stories, was priceless. I know for sure that all of us who were up there miss it very much.

One sad thing that has happened since then is that the lady I was working with, who actually shares my first name, is gone. She needed to take a better-paying job to support her family, and has thus moved on to greener pastures. I miss her very much. She and I are similar people... she's a harder worker than I am, but we both have a strong sense of team and a drive for accomplishment. We worked well together, but more importantly she very quickly became a great friend. I don't befriend people (women) very readily, so this took me by surprise. Plus, she knew everything about this job. I could ask her anything and she knew the answer.

Now, I sit in this office alone, nobody on the other side of the ridiculous partition to make a joke to, nobody to lovingly call me "Coop" and deal out generous compliments to my already-inflated ego. I am still very busy, so the boss has told people specifically not to visit my office unless absolutely necessary. But alas, I have this window, and I have this job. Don't tell anybody who works here, but often when I sit down by this window with a stack of paper in front of me to go to work, the thought involuntarily pops into my head: "I love my job." Crazy, isn't it?

As promised, here is my second installment of For the Record, my new Saturday tradition of telling about my day.

Bryan and I woke today sans kids, and it was lovely. We slept in late ('till almost 8 o'clock), had coffee, and headed to the tile store. We spent over two hours there, unencumbered by whining children, and picked out tile for several projects we plan to have done at our new house.

Yes, that's right, our new house. We have a contract, are pre-approved for a loan, and a plan to buy a new house! We are very excited, but feel like we've lost what we hoped for so many times before, we are still waiting to see if it really actually works out. Bryan's done so much work planning the necessary projects to make the house better for our use... we've met with contractors, HVAC guys, and are trying to see an electrician.

It's such a weird feeling to really feel like all this craziness we've been dealing with finally has an end in sight.

After the tile store, we went out to pick up the kids, then went to lunch. Zene was ridiculously tired today, and napped a little in the car on the way home. We chilled at home for awhile, watched some tv, then I went to the store to get stuff for Bryan to make dinner. The kids played with their friend DJ all day, and are now having a sleepover with him. I hope they actually go to sleep sometime tonight.

We had dinner, I made chocolate chip cookie bars, and now we're settled in to watch random football games. This is the point of the night where I would normally read the book I've been reading on Kindle, but alas I left my iPad at work yesterday, so I will go without. Feeling kinda sleepy anyway.

Saturday nights are awesome. Very different from how they were 12 years ago, but just as enjoyable.

Today is proof that writing is good for me. I sat outside this morning, gathering my thoughts while writing in this blog, then preceded to go forth and have a wonderful day. Here's what I/we did today:

• After writing in my blog, went inside, and Zene asked what was for breakfast, so I cleaned the kitchen, made breakfast, and I had an awesome omelet with black bean corn salsa & green peppers, with a whole wheat English muffin. 
• Watched a movie with Bryan over breakfast & coffee
• Played What's in Ned's Head and Sorry! with the kids
• (This is the best part) Packed up a basketball and water, and went for a walk with the kids to the park. Ran/walked a couple laps while they played, then played basketball with Tayan for like an hour, as if I didn't care at all how I looked doing it, because I don't. Walked most of the way back home too, then Bryan picked us up. 
• Went out to eat at Cheddar's, even enjoying the time we had to wait by shopping around town with our buzzer. 
• Cut the boys' hair for the first time! It was a ill stressful for us all, but turned out well. 
• Played some wicked music with my band, and encouraged us to actually schedule a Real Gig. 

Essentially it is a Monday morning. I slept till 7:30, and just rolled outta bed ten minutes ago.  Other than trying to catch the newest chain restaurant at a less busy than usual time, to eat lunch, I have no concrete plans for the day. Part of the reason I laid in bed half asleep for nearly an hour is because I wasn't sure what I want to do next. Here are the activities I have been considering for the morning:

1. Go to an amusement park (not really an option; too far/expensive)
2. Do laundry (much more grounded, but fun...?)
3. Go swimming (meh)
4. Drink coffee and watch a movie (nice, but usually leads to an unfulfilling day)