Sep 1, 2012

Bless Me Blogger, for I Have Sinned

It's been several months since my last blogfession.

Oh, where to begin. How about with yesterday... only a few hours ago now, because I am awake at 5:43AM this morning, and have been since 4:55. There was no exercise yesterday, and here's what I ate/consumed for the day:

from 5:30AM when I woke up 'till 10:30 - Nothing at all
10:30 - a large sausage biscuit
12:30PM - a mint chocolate chip Klondike bar
3:00 - a chocolate chip cookie bar
5:15 - another chocolate chip cookie bar
6:00 - a Saranac Adirondack Lager (oddly, while sitting in my Adirondack chair)
7:00 - 8:30 - a teeny tiny Greek salad with hardly any feta, 6 chicken wings, a pepperoni roll, and about 1 entire pitcher of Pabst Blue Ribbon

I barely remember anything else about yesterday evening. Bryan drove us home, and I remember Zene asking me to lay down with him. I don't remember if I did that, I don't remember if we said prayers or if the kids had pajamas on, but I do remember being very surprised that everything was so spinny, and surprised to wake up in my chair in the livingroom at midnight by myself.

It's hard for me to tell that story. It seems like way too much information to share publicly. I don't want people to know that I would ever lose time after drinking, and I don't want to believe it myself. I am so ashamed of how I ate yesterday, and the weird thing is, at the time, it didn't even seem that bad. I was so busy at work (which is very new for me), and it was so important that I crank out 3 applications, and the day felt so weird like it was just flying by at double speed... that when Klondike bars showed up, and I wasn't that lunch hungry, I was like "Sure, of course I'll have one right now without even having lunch."

Then I came home and had a beer. Totally normal and acceptable for a Friday evening, except that the one beer made me half drunk for lack of regular food.

Then, at dinner... last time we went there for dinner, I drank lots of beer, and ate LOTS of pizza, wings, etc. I didn't want a repeat of that, so I guess I ordered accordingly. Ate a pepperoni roll from the kids plate, and finished Bryan's beer because he was driving. Subsequently, I realize now that I may have also inherited Bryan's throat-scorching cold because of that beer. Great.

Now it's 5:59AM, I'm awake with a headache, and I feel like a poop stain.

In the immortal words of Axl Rose, "Where do we go from here? Aye Aye Aye Where do we go now? Aye ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay WHERE DO WE GO???!"

You get the point.


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